Are You Making These 7 Common Mistakes with Workplace Boundaries? (A Therapist's Guide to Avoiding Burnout)

You're probably reading this because something feels off. Maybe you're answering emails at 10 PM again, or you said yes to another project when you're already drowning. Maybe you're that therapist who stays late for every client crisis, or the executive who can't delegate without feeling guilty.

Here's the thing: boundary mistakes aren't character flaws. They're learned patterns that can be unlearned. As someone who works with professionals navigating burnout daily, I see these seven mistakes repeatedly, and more importantly, I see how life-changing it is when people finally address them.

Mistake #1: Treating Your Role Like Silly Putty

You know that feeling when your job description becomes more of a "suggestion" than actual guidance? When you're doing three people's jobs but getting paid for one? This is what happens when we don't establish clear role expectations from day one.

The therapist's take: In my practice, I see this constantly with helping professionals. You're trained to be flexible and accommodating, which makes you vulnerable to scope creep. Your brain interprets unclear expectations as personal failure rather than organizational dysfunction.

Quick fix: Next time someone asks you to take on something outside your wheelhouse, try this script: "I want to make sure I understand how this fits with my current priorities. Can we clarify which projects should take precedence?" It's not confrontational, it's clarifying.

Mistake #2: Ignoring Your Internal GPS

Your values are your internal GPS system, but you keep driving with the navigation turned off. When there's a mismatch between what matters to you and what your workplace demands, every day becomes an uphill battle.

The therapist's take: Value misalignment creates what I call "moral injury", that deep exhaustion that comes from betraying yourself repeatedly. It's not just stress; it's spiritual fatigue.

Quick fix: Write down your top three work values. Now honestly assess: does your current situation honor them? If not, identify one small way to better align your daily actions with what matters most to you.

Mistake #3: Falling for Emotional Manipulation

"But we're like family here!" "I thought you were committed to the team." "Remember when I covered for you that one time?" Sound familiar? You're being guilt-tripped, and it's working.

The therapist's take: Guilt is often weaponized in workplace cultures that rely on people-pleasing. Your brain confuses being needed with being valued, making it harder to recognize when you're being manipulated.

Quick fix: When you feel that familiar guilt-spiral starting, pause and ask yourself: "Is this request reasonable, or am I being emotionally pressured?" Then respond with: "I understand this is important. Let me check my capacity and get back to you by [specific time]."

Mistake #4: Letting Work Bleed Into Your Soul

Your phone buzzes at 9 PM with a "quick question." Your laptop lives on your kitchen table. You check emails from bed. You've turned your entire life into an extension of your office, and you wonder why you feel constantly "on."

The therapist's take: The brain needs clear transitions to shift from work mode to rest mode. Without boundaries, you're in a chronic state of hypervigilance, which is exhausting for your nervous system.

Quick fix: Create a daily "shutdown ritual." Close your laptop, turn off work notifications, and say out loud: "Work is done for today." Your brain needs this clear signal that it's time to shift gears.

Mistake #5: Playing Boundary Whack-a-Mole

You handle each boundary violation as it comes up, but you never step back to see the patterns. It's like playing whack-a-mole, you're constantly reacting instead of preventing.

The therapist's take: Pattern recognition is a superpower in mental health. The same issues showing up repeatedly aren't coincidence, they're information about what needs to change systemically.

Quick fix: Keep a simple log for one week. Note when you feel stressed, overwhelmed, or resentful. Look for patterns. Is it always the same person? Same time of day? Same type of request? Use this data to set proactive boundaries.

Mistake #6: Skipping the Safety Brief

This one's especially for my fellow therapists and coaches: you're making exceptions to your usual boundaries without proper preparation. Taking calls at weird hours, meeting in unusual locations, extending sessions, all with good intentions, but poor planning.

The therapist's take: Boundary crossings aren't automatically problematic, but unplanned ones often are. The ethical issues come from lack of intention and preparation, not from the crossing itself.

Quick fix: Before making any exception to your usual boundaries, ask yourself three questions: 1) What's my real motivation? 2) What could go wrong? 3) How will I handle complications? Document your reasoning. Future you will thank you.

Mistake #7: Ignoring Your Inner Alarm System

You get that weird feeling in your stomach when you're about to agree to something that doesn't feel right. But you override it because you don't want to disappoint anyone, you're tired, or you're in a hurry.

The therapist's take: Your body keeps the score of boundary violations before your brain catches up. That uncomfortable feeling is your nervous system saying, "Hey, pay attention here." Ignoring it repeatedly teaches your system to stop warning you.

Quick fix: Start honoring the pause. When something feels off, even if you can't articulate why, say: "Let me think about this and get back to you." Trust your instincts enough to buy yourself thinking time.

The Real Talk About Boundaries

Here's what nobody tells you about boundaries: they're not walls you build to keep people out. They're more like a GPS system that helps you navigate toward what honors your wellbeing and away from what drains it.

You don't need to become a boundary warrior overnight. Start with one pattern that resonates most with you from this list. Practice the quick fix for two weeks. Notice what shifts.

Boundaries aren't selfish: they're sustainable. They're not mean: they're clear. They're not about controlling others: they're about taking responsibility for your own experience.

You deserve to work in a way that doesn't slowly chip away at your soul. You deserve to end your workday with energy left for the people and things you love. You deserve to feel proud of your work without sacrificing your peace.

The professionals I work with who successfully implement boundaries don't become less caring or less committed. They become more present, more sustainable, and ultimately more effective. They show up as their best selves because they're not running on fumes.

Your boundaries matter. Your wellbeing matters. You matter.

Now, which mistake are you going to tackle first?

---

If you're ready to dive deeper into creating sustainable work practices, check out our other resources on recognizing early burnout warning signs and building emotional resilience.