Are You Making These 7 Common 'Covering' Mistakes That Lead to LGBTQ+ Executive Burnout?

You've climbed the corporate ladder. You've earned that executive title. But something feels off. You're exhausted in ways that go beyond long hours and demanding deadlines. You're experiencing what researchers call "covering" – the practice of downplaying aspects of your LGBTQ+ identity to fit workplace expectations.

If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. Studies show that 83% of LGBTQ+ professionals engage in some form of covering at work. While it might feel protective in the moment, covering can become a fast track to executive burnout.

Let's explore the seven most common covering mistakes that drain your energy and how to break free from patterns that no longer serve you.

Mistake #1: Over-Performing to Prove Your Worth

You work twice as hard to be seen as half as good. Sound familiar? Many LGBTQ+ executives fall into the trap of believing they need to outperform everyone else to compensate for their "difference."

This mistake manifests as:

• Staying late when others leave on time

• Taking on extra projects without being asked

• Never saying no to additional responsibilities

• Constantly seeking validation through achievements

The truth is, you don't need to earn your place at the table. You already belong there. Your identity doesn't make you less capable – it makes you uniquely valuable.

Start here: Set clear boundaries around your workload. Practice saying, "Let me check my capacity and get back to you" instead of automatically saying yes to everything.

Mistake #2: Avoiding LGBTQ+ Topics Like the Plague

You change the subject when diversity initiatives come up. You stay silent during Pride month discussions. You avoid mentioning your partner or using their pronouns in meetings.

This hypervigilant avoidance creates constant mental fatigue. You're always monitoring conversations, calculating what's safe to share, and editing yourself in real-time.

The exhaustion isn't just from what you're hiding – it's from the constant energy it takes to hide it.

Reality check: Complete avoidance often backfires. Colleagues notice when you seem uncomfortable or distant during certain topics. Authentic, selective sharing can actually build trust and reduce the mental load.

Mistake #3: Code-Switching Until You're Exhausted

You have your "work voice," your "work walk," and your "work personality." By 3 PM, you're drained from performing a version of yourself that feels foreign.

Code-switching isn't inherently wrong – we all adjust our communication style for different contexts. The problem arises when the gap between your authentic self and your work self becomes a chasm that requires enormous energy to maintain.

Signs you're over-code-switching:

• Feeling like an actor in your own life

• Physical tension from monitoring your mannerisms

• Difficulty relaxing even after work hours

• Dreading Monday mornings more than usual

Try this: Identify one small way you can bring more of your authentic self to work this week. Maybe it's using a phrase you naturally say, or sharing a genuine interest during small talk.

Mistake #4: Isolating Yourself from Authentic Connections

You eat lunch alone. You skip after-work events. You keep conversations surface-level because deeper connections feel too risky.

This isolation might feel safer, but it actually increases burnout. Humans are wired for connection, and when we cut ourselves off from authentic relationships at work, we lose access to crucial support systems.

The irony? Your colleagues want to connect with the real you, not the carefully curated version you think they need to see.

Small step: Join one workplace conversation this week where you can share something genuine about yourself – even if it's just mentioning a hobby or weekend plan.

Mistake #5: Becoming the Constant LGBTQ+ Educator

Every question about pronouns comes to you. Every diversity discussion needs your input. You've become the unofficial spokesperson for your entire community.

While education can be valuable, when it becomes your unpaid second job, it leads to what researchers call "minority stress burnout." You're carrying the emotional labor of educating others while trying to excel in your actual role.

Boundary setting: You can choose when and how to educate. Try phrases like:

• "That's an important topic. Have you checked our company's diversity resources?"

• "I'm happy to point you toward some great articles on that."

• "I'd love to discuss this when I have more bandwidth."

Mistake #6: Minimizing Microaggressions to Keep the Peace

Someone makes an assumption about your personal life. A colleague uses outdated language. Your manager makes a comment that stings. Instead of addressing it, you smile and move on.

Constantly swallowing microaggressions creates internal pressure that eventually explodes as burnout. You're not being "dramatic" when these moments affect you – you're being human.

Permission granted: You don't have to address every microaggression in the moment, but you also don't have to pretend they don't matter. Find trusted colleagues or mentors who can help you process these experiences.

Mistake #7: Compartmentalizing Your Identity Completely

Work you is one person. Personal you is another. Never shall the two meet. This complete compartmentalization might feel protective, but it's incredibly draining.

When you segment your identity so strictly, you miss opportunities for:

• Building meaningful workplace relationships

• Finding mentors who understand your experience

• Contributing your unique perspective to important discussions

• Feeling whole and integrated in your professional life

Integration practice: Look for small ways to let your worlds connect. This doesn't mean sharing every personal detail – it means allowing yourself to be a complete person at work.

The Path Forward: From Covering to Thriving

Breaking these covering patterns isn't about dramatic overnight changes. It's about small, intentional choices that honor both your safety and your authenticity.

Start with self-compassion. These covering behaviors developed for good reasons. They were survival strategies that served you at one point. Thank them for protecting you, and gently explore which ones you're ready to outgrow.

Choose your battles. You don't have to be "out and proud" in every conversation. Strategic authenticity means making conscious choices about when and how to show up as yourself.

Find your people. Whether it's LGBTQ+ employee resource groups, external professional networks, or individual mentors, connection is crucial for sustainable career success.

Remember your value. Your LGBTQ+ identity isn't something to overcome or compensate for. It's part of what makes you an effective leader. Your diverse perspective, empathy, and resilience are leadership strengths, not weaknesses.

Your Next Steps

Executive burnout from covering is real, but it's not permanent. You have the power to make different choices starting today.

Which of these seven mistakes resonates most with you? Pick just one pattern to focus on this week. Small changes in how you show up at work can create ripple effects in your energy, relationships, and overall career satisfaction.

You didn't climb this far to play small. Your authentic leadership is exactly what the world needs right now.

Ready to explore authentic leadership strategies without sacrificing your career? Book a consultation to discuss personalized coaching approaches that honor both your identity and your professional goals.